


Burn Me

by cxptained



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Immortality, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxptained/pseuds/cxptained
Summary: Jack doesn’t know how to explain it, but he misses Ianto.Ianto’s right there, in front of him. He’s nattering on about some file of interest he’s found down in the archives this morning. Jack lost track of what he was talking about three tangents ago, and now he’s simply watching Ianto’s lips move. The way they curl at the corners, excited as he talks. Kissable lips; thin but soft and imprinted on Jack’s a thousand times over. A memory he can never remove. A reason why, nowadays, getting lost in the warmth of a stranger’s tongue is not the pleasure it used to bring. Not when Ianto Jones is there, tender and familiar.Jack would kiss Ianto’s lips over anyone else’s any day.--------------------------Jack loves Ianto, Jack misses Ianto even when he's right in front of him. Accidental confessions occur. For the Torchwood Bingo: filling prompt 'Immortality'!
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 12
Kudos: 96
Collections: Torchwood Fan Fests: Bingo Fest 2020





	Burn Me

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I didn't know I was going to write this. I just suddenly had feelings and this came out. 
> 
> Filling the prompt Immortality for the Torchwood Bingo!

Jack doesn’t know how to explain it, but he misses Ianto.

Ianto’s right there, in front of him. He’s nattering on about some file of interest he’s found down in the archives this morning. Jack lost track of what he was talking about three tangents ago, and now he’s simply watching Ianto’s lips move. The way they curl at the corners, excited as he talks. Kissable lips; thin but soft and imprinted on Jack’s a thousand times over. A memory he can never remove. A reason why, nowadays, getting lost in the warmth of a stranger’s tongue is not the pleasure it used to bring. Not when Ianto Jones is there, tender and familiar.

Jack would kiss Ianto’s lips over anyone else’s any day.

The hum of that welsh accent is ringing through the air. If Jack focuses harder, he hears it - the way that Ianto rounds his vowels; the way that the letter G somehow got lost on its way to the welsh alphabet and took H with it. And once again Jack is lost and found all in the same moment.

He _misses_ Ianto.

Ianto’s right there, in front of him. Jack could reach out and touch him, could pull him into his arms and hold him. He could do so many things but instead he just watches. The feeling isn’t new. Jack misses Ianto every day of his life. Just looking at him bringing a sense of longing that has no business being a part of him. Because Ianto is _right there._

You see, Jack misses Ianto in advance. It sounds stupid and, well, it is. To miss someone so greatly while they’re still in your life is rather counterproductive. He should grab every moment with this man, live it to the full, let no moment go to waste. He knows this. He screams it in his head every single day, but screaming is no match for what deafens you. And those screams fall silent against the weight that is his own immortality.

Nothing lasts forever, except Jack himself.

One day, Ianto will be gone and it’s that knowledge that tugs Jack at every heart string his body has to offer. He’s seen it in dreams. Ianto’s cold and lifeless body with the blood drained from his face and the light missing from those eyes. Sometimes he’s young, the Ianto he sees daily. Sometimes he’s old, the Ianto he imagines and hopes he can keep for a very long time. Sometimes bloody, sometimes mangled, sometimes frail, sometimes peaceful.

But dead. Always dead.

The future is inevitable. There is no way to freeze a moment and live in it forever, no matter how much Jack wants to. Ianto will die. Jack will be alone.

And Jack misses Ianto.

He misses Ianto so much that he feels like he can’t breathe. It squeezes the air out of him and takes a grip on his heart. It’s in his chest, clutching at his organs as though having a tighter grasp on himself will tether him any more securely to Ianto.

Jack reaches forward suddenly, and hooks his little finger around Ianto’s. Skin against skin, and it calms something inside him. While immortality deafens him, Ianto’s touch is a cure. It’s terrifying how potent it really is, and it says something about both Jack as a person, and his relationship with Ianto Jones.

He can breathe.

The flurry of words has stopped coming and Ianto’s gaze has moved from his file to Jack. Blue eyes pierce into his soul. Jack watches them change from excited, to fond, to concerned. He gets lost in Ianto’s eyes like he’d gotten lost in missing him. Jack sees the past, the present and the future all mapped out in beautiful hues.

“Jack… Are you okay?” Ianto’s voice echoes vaguely around his brain. It bounces through an empty skull, not quite making contact.

He sees happiness and maybe a future. He sees good things. Maybe marriage. Maybe _kids_? The possibilities are endless. They have a lifetime.

“Jack…?”

A life time with the man he loves so endlessly and so wholly.

“Jack!”

“I love you!”

It tumbles from his lips before he has the chance to catch it. He almost grasps for the words mid-air, fear stricken across his face.

Those are heavy words. He’s afraid of those words. He’s been afraid of them for so long. He knows them to be true, but giving them to the universe like that makes them real. As though loving someone internally, yet never announcing it to the world will make it hurt less when it’s gone. But love hurts. Love is the reason he misses Ianto when the man is two feet away from him. Love is the reason his heart has been shattered over and over, put back together with Sellotape and PVA glue.

Jack’s heart is fragile, camouflaged in strength.

“I…” Ianto blinks, and Jack knows it’s a lot to take in. He hardly blames him for taking a moment.

“I love you…” Jack repeats, this time with more certainty. It’s slower, more real. Less like a mistake.

Loving Ianto Jones could never be a mistake.

Ianto watches him carefully. He analyses him, those damn blue eyes that caused this entire thing searching him for any clue that this might all be an elaborate rouse. But Jack thinks the nerves must show on his face, or his heart is visibly pounding out of his ribcage, because Ianto softens.

He slips his pinkie around Jack’s a little more, tugging him in a little closer and shifting so all his fingers slowly interlock with his. Jack takes a breath that shudders involuntarily in his chest.

“I love you too.” Ianto confirms, a smile tugging back at those lips once again. Jack watches in awe as it crinkles at the corner and puffs up his cheeks.

“I’m scared, Ianto.” Jack admits, his voice barely above a whisper. He swallows down that lump in his throat, unable to tear his eyes away from Ianto’s.

“I know.” Ianto says softly; like he knows exactly why. Like he’s always known why. Maybe he does. It sends a pulse of electric straight through his chest.

His eyes must look terrified. Jack can feel them blown wide, his lips slightly parted as he breathes far more audibly than he wants to. Blue hues give away so much emotion, and Jack has never been one to hide it.

The file is set down on a desk and before Jack can process it, he’s pulled in for a kiss. There are strong hands on his cheek, a thumb slipping down his jaw and tilting his head just slightly into the air. Their mouths come together, Jack letting out a shaky exhale against Ianto’s before he lets his eyes flutter closed.

Ianto’s lips are a fire and it burns his tongue and runs straight down his throat into his heart. It sets him alight in the most painful of ways but it feels so damn good. One day he’ll choke on the smoke left behind when the blaze is inevitably extinguished but all he can think about now is the beauty within the flame.

“I miss you.” Jack whispers as their kiss parts for air, their foreheads pressed together. His eyes are still closed and his breaths still shake.

He feels hands leave his cheeks, arms snake around his waist. Ianto squeezes him tightly; that pressure filled contact that makes Jack feel so safe. Sometimes it’s what holds him in one piece.

“Don’t.” Ianto whispers in return. Jack swallows, breathing deeply.

“Then kiss me again.”

He does.

Ianto is a wildfire burning out of control and Jack succumbs to the inferno.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I hope you enjoy! Kudos and comments make my day. Have a good one! <3


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